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#4: Embrace The Mess

Updated: Mar 15, 2019

Dear Friends,

            I had just finished complaining to my mom about how little time there is in a day. 

            “There’s too much I have to do, and even more that I want to do.” I have to do the dishes, but when Charlie is awake, so that I don’t interrupt her nap.  I have to do laundry, and then fold that laundry.  Then, there’s the Christmas cards I have to finish sending out, a tree to decorate, a bed to make, and a shower to take. But if we’re being realistic, that last one probably won’t happen. 

Sometime soon I have to figure when and what to eat. 

When I open the fridge, I take a mental note to clean out the old leftovers I had pushed to the back.  When I’m sure that Charlie won’t be fussy, that’s when I make my calls and figure out the bills.  I want to make time to try and get into a routine.  Read the Bible in the morning, and a daily entry about something new to learn. 

I’d like to start exercising, too.  And whatever free time I get, I want to work on my website, adding products or a new blog post.  After which, I’ll start dinner—if Charlie will let me.  Oh, and a garden! I’d love to start one.  Also, I’ve been wanting to learn about investing, so we can start saving for the future. 

 And that’s not even half of it! Needless to say, I was a tad stressed.

I hear my mom smile on the other end.  “There’s no such thing as a Supermom,” she tells me.  “We all try to be one, and we all eventually realize the same thing—we can’t be the mom who does it all, because we can’t fit it all into one day’s time.  No one can ever do it all.”

And then she gave me a great piece of advice; the kind only mothers can give.  “It can be easy to get caught up in it all.  You get caught up in checking things off your to-do list, doing things as fast as you can, and saying ‘No’ to your kids all along the way just to make things go a little faster.  That’s when we have to stop and tell ourselves to take a breath. 

"Take it all in.  Because your kids will have kids of their own much sooner than you think.  If your child wants to play, then play.  Because, when we are near the end everyone always says they wish they had more time with family.”

She proceeded to tell me that no matter what went unplanned or wrong in her life, she led a good one because she raised me and my brother to be who we are today.

And she did.  She always supported us.  She saw all of our soccer games, and taught us to do what we love.  She was and is an amazing mom.  No matter what, she’ll always have that.  And that, to me, is way more than enough.

So if you're feeling stressed because you feel like you're falling below your expectations, or you aren't accomplishing what you'd hoped, or if you feel like there's just not enough time to do it all, remember this:

It’s not about being the perfect housewife, or making the most money, or even about being famous for doing your dream and doing it well.  It’s about family.  It’s about the little moments.  About laughing with your kids, and sparking their imagination, and talking to them about God and nature and the ocean.  It’s about being there.  

And more than anything, it’s about soaking in every single second, and being the best version of yourself in each of those seconds.  If you can do that, then you really don’t need much else.

Photo by: Lauren Ligeti

Featured: Matt Ligeti (brother) and his daughter Lorelei

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